Wow, just wow. I knew this was going to be bad, but I had no clue that that was an understatement. This almost unseated The Happytime Murders as the worst movie of the year.

There was not a single good performance in this movie. Riz Ahmed and Michelle Williams did not seem to care. Tom Hardy may have cared, but he got awful direction. He has done some weird accents before, but with the exception of Dark Knight Rises, I don’t think any of his strange voices could ever be called bad, until now. I am not sure what he was going for with this voice, but it was really grating. The voice for Venom was even worse. It was so fake and cheesy.

The writing was worse. The story made no sense. So Venom is bad, but now he is also good, and he was bullied on his home planet and wants to protect this new planet from the rest of his race. Have they never read a Venom comic before? I suppose they had to go off comics though. Everything about Venom involved Spiderman. His entire motivation revolves around Spiderman. So removes Spider-Man, and you have nothing. A character that wants for nothing, and does nothing. So they had to make stuff up. The problem is what they made up was really dumb.

So much of what happens makes no sense. The movie feels thrown together, I can’t believe this is the script they invested so much money in. The “romance” is one of the least interesting love stories I have ever seen in a superhero movie. The villain was boring and hard to believe. His motivation is lame, his plan makes no sense and is never really explained or shown.

Why did they make the late decision to make this pg-13? They apparently cut 40 minutes of footage out that Tom Hardy believes are the best 40 minutes of the movie. This movie would still suck if it was rated R, but it would be less boring if they could actually show the carnage Venom was causing.

The CGI is pretty bad as well. I mean it is not the worst I have ever seen, but it is still bad enough to say the studio should be embarrassed that they put this product out.

Oh, and the Venom song, by Eminem, is laughably bad. I crack up everytime he gets to the chorus because all he does it grunt out Venom over and over again. It is actually the perfect song for this movie, both are a low effort, overproduced, mess.

And what is with Venom being a good guy. They sell the film as being a film about a villain, and then chicken out and make Venom the hero. It is the same crap Suicide Squad pulled. Why are these studios so afraid of writing a story about a villain?

So yea, it is bad. But bad in a funny way at least. Sony keeps up its terrible track record with everything except video games.