The first Jurrasic World was very dumb. But it was also fun. There was enough crazy dinosaur action to make up for the excessively stupid plot. Most of the characters were bland as hell, especially the child characters, but Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard were at least good. The sequel, however, was awful. It kept all the dumb crap from the first one, with none of the fun.

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They still focused on that idiotic plot of training raptors. It is an idea that sounds like it would come from a Jurassic Park parody. Yet they decided to build this franchise around this idea. Also returning is the science experiment hybrid dinosaur. Again, something that sounds like it would come from a parody. In fact, if you told me there was a dinosaur movie about scientists crossing a T Rex with a raptor, I would assume it was a Syfy original movie from Asylum studios. But again, in the first movie, although it was still dumb, I was able to enjoy it as a dumb fun movie.

The problem with this sequel is it is tame. A lot of the violence is implied off-screen. Now that can occasionally work, and I realize they need to keep it pg-13, but they can show a little bit more. In the first movie, they had a woman get picked up by a pterodactyl, dropped mid-air, caught by another pterodactyl, dropped into the water, scooped up again. And then in mid-air, a mosasaur ate her and the pterodactyl. That was a funny scene. It was over the top, but over the top action works with a dumb plot. But this movie gave me nothing. I did not have a single scene where I got excited. I was mostly focused on not falling asleep.

The acting was fine I suppose. Once again most of the characters were uninteresting. Jeff Goldblum was pointless. He is great, but he has no impact on this movie. He shows up at the beginning and end, in two scenes completely detached from the rest of the movie. You could chop them out, and the movie would not change at all. They only put them in, so they could advertise his return, and draw bigger audiences.

The CGI was very substandard. I won’t go as far as calling it awful, cause there is certainly room for it to be worse, but it just looked fake at some points. And with a big Hollywood budget, there really is no excuse for that. I do not understand how these studio movies keep missing the mark. I mean the DC movies have continued to have awful CGI when it is literally the one aspect of a movie you can just throw money at and make it good. I am not expecting mind-blowing effects, just reach the level of being standard. The only expectations are to not be bad, but they could not even pull that off.

Watching this movie was just a miserable experience. And I do not think I could it in better word than Ian Malcolm can.